News Hack: Let’s send the NRA to Gitmo.

This is a man in need of a 3-day waiting period and a background check before he sits at his computer again.

In this incredibly screeching, vicious and nonsensical rant, Dave Perry of the Aurora Sentinel appears to draw the following conclusion: since editorials from newspapers in Dallas, Kansas City and Orlando attacked the NRA and “coward” Senators for voting against a gun control bill, and since these newspapers are not “liberal rag(s) in a liberal wasteland”, then the entire NRA leadership should be sent to Gitmo. In other words, he’s implying that these newspapers from allegedly “conservative” regions speak for the people (conservative people, I’m assuming) by lashing out against the NRA, and by extension, gun control.

Maybe Mr. Perry hasn’t actually read rags like the Orlando Sentinel in some time. Orlando is not exactly a bastion of conservatism as a city, and the Sentinel has long been known to be one of Florida’s most left-leaning papers. We joked about it when I lived there in 1981. Likewise, what makes him think that the editorial writers in Dallas or Kansas City are any less “liberal” than their counterparts in New York, Washington, Chicago or Los Angeles?

And, of course, he never explains how the passage of any of that legislation would have prevented that crackpot from shooting up that movie theater last year. You see, the issue to people like Mr. Perry is not rights or cause-and-effect or even simple logic. This is about bluster and feigned outrage and a typically leftist desire to take lots of freedoms – even the freedom to lobby for a cause – away from people. Along with their gun rights.

Of course, there’s the required snide remark about the fact that there are 76 million gun owners and 300+ million citizens, and the NRA only had 4 million members (actually, it’s over 5 million now, but I doubt it matters to Mr. Perry). He forgets that there are other, smaller gun ownership groups, so not every gun owner has to be in the NRA to support their gun rights. In fact, one doesn’t need to belong to any group for that – other than the group called “American citizen.” Does NOW represents every woman in America? Or the AARP represent all the elderly or retired? This is the kind of logic that believes that every beer drinker in America is represented by Budweiser.

Mr. Perry might want to step away from the keyboard for a bit and give some really, really careful thought about the things he says. I know a lot of people who would find his ideas of locking up Americans in Gitmo even more frightening than facing down some orange-haired crackpot with a gun in a movie theater.

Same Sex Marriage

Don’t care. Don’t wish to discuss it. I don’t wish to judge, and, frankly, we just want to be left alone the same way other people want to be left alone. The government should not be in the marriage business in the first place. Marriage should be between two people and God.

That is all.

You will never lose a password again!

As the hipster geeks say, there is just so much “fail” in this product, it isn’t funny.

What is extremely funny (or sad, depending on your perspective) is that there are actually people who will fork up ten bucks for an address book. I found an identical item on Amazon, but at least these folks have the good sense to use the words “address book” in the name of the product.

The video also demonstrates a tiny digital recorder for creating quick spoken reminders (hence the name “digital reminder”). If you watched the clip, you’ll notice there’s a elderly lady who’s banging on her desk over a BSOD one minute, then the next is listening to her “digital reminder” inform her of the location of her car.

What I wondered is what if she has one of those Life Alert buttons and something happens to her in her home? What if the grabs the “digital reminder” by mistake and starts calling into it for help? All that’s going to happen is the thing will just repeat I’ve fallen and I can’t get up! over and over as she writhes in pain on the floor.

Kelly has an address book in the kitchen drawer that we’ve had since before we were married. I need to inform her that she was more than 34 years ahead of her time.

Stop The Madness: The Hour Has Come For Banning The Bulldog

(I posted this in my Google+ stream this morning, but thought it would be fun to post here, since it’s only been about two years since I last posted here. Maybe someone still has this site in their RSS readers.)

My friends, what are we to do about this scourge cast upon us by irresponsible bulldog owners? This story is so shocking, so horrifying, one cannot find the words to describe the terror committed upon an innocent sea creature! What is our nation coming to when sea lions, minding their own business, cannot walk safely on our nation’s beaches?

This story has many unanswered questions.

First, where and how did Miss Giffords obtain this bulldog? Was this a legal transaction conducted at a dog retailer in possession of a Federal Dog License? Or was this some “back door” purchase performed at dog show, or a private purchase from a litter of bulldogs in someone’s kitchen? How are we supposed to protect the public and our sea creature friends from this unexpected violence if we have no way of documenting these sales conducted with no background checks?

Speaking of which, was any kind of background check performed on this violent animal? Did the breeders or owners look into the history of this canine’s family tree to see if there was a propensity for sudden, viscous attacks on unprotected sea mammals? We’ve done an awful lot in our country to save the whales; are they now threatened by indiscriminate attacks from unlicensed bulldogs when they beach themselves?

How many teeth did this bulldog have? Did Miss Giffords ever consider having some of the animal’s teeth medically removed in order to prevent the mortal damaged inflicted on this unsuspecting creature? Perhaps it’s time for new state and federal laws prohibiting the ownership or transportation of any bulldog with more than seven teeth in its mouth. Bulldogs don’t need more than seven teeth to eat.

Finally, did the police check to see if Miss Giffords was in possession of any legal open carry permit for this bulldog? I was under the impression that open carry was fully against the law in California.

The time has come, my friends, to stop the madness.

Make a generous donation today to the National Prevent Bulldog Attacks On Sea Lions By The Giffords Family Organization.

Today’s two minutes of hate: Outrages of the week, so far.

I need to stretch out the blogging muscles again, so I thought, rather then just spew some commentary, I’d post a few links to a couple of things that will really anger and outrage the average, tax-paying American. The spewing will begin in earnest later on.

  • Hmmm, here’s an interesting ad. A man wants to kill someone, cook them, and eat them. I’m sure this is some kind of joke, but I’ll contact him anyway. I have nothing better to do. Yikes.
  • I’m not a death penalty guy, but I wonder if there’s a SEAL team that’s not too busy. We need to save the taxpayers some money and have the two cretins in this story put down like the dogs they are. Right in the eyes, fellas.
  • Once again, “zero tolerance” gets taken way too far. I wonder why the bags were searched. Did someone rat on these kids?
  • Boy likes girl. Boy wants to ask girl to prom. Boy comes up with clever way to ask. Boy now banned from prom. Yes, this is freaking pathetic, more “zero tolerance” crap.

The two minutes of hate is now over. Get back to work.

Make calls? Who makes calls anymore?

If you’re a closet Luddite who can’t stand watching people like me showing off every feature of our brilliantly-conceived smart phones, and if all you want to do is make a call, then you need one of these.

Imagine: no texting, no web, no tweets, no mobile Facebook, no email…just calls. One ringtone. The dialer screen is apparently an LCD on the top edge of the device. You can store exactly ten phone numbers in memory (one for each digit on the dial pad). If you run out of room or need to remember a number, you can open the back and write a number down using the included pad and pen. Comes in an array of colors, too.

Just think. You’ll be the only one in your town who can actually walk down the street while looking where you’re going.

What’s next? Phones mounted to boxes on the street for making calls with coins?

What the TV killer really wanted.

You can’t fool me.

The guy who shot up his TV and held an eleven-hour standoff with police wasn’t angry about Bristol Palin performing on Dancing With The Stars.

Hell, a flick of the remote would have solved that problem.

No, I’m pretty sure he just wanted to buy a new flat screen set and his cheapskate wife wouldn’t let him spend the money. Hey, what better way to step forward technologically than to blast the old away in a shower of buckshot and sparks? Pointing the shotgun at his wife and the eleven-hour standoff with the cops was probably a little over the top. But, hey, you can’t fault dude for trying, right?

I smell a 48-incher on the way!

American Exceptionalism On Display: Cody Alicea

I can’t say anything more about this, since most of you know the story of Cody Alicea from California and his dignified fight to fly the American flag on his bicycle.

I wish I could embed this video, but the provider turned it off, so click the link and watch it. Listen to this kid; he’s amazing:

Cody Rides with Company

Here’s an extended video taken after the ride’s arrival at the school:

Soledad O’Brien can’t get a break.

I’ve only seen her a few times, but Soledad O’Brien seems like a very nice woman, very capable in her position as an anchor on CNN. Based on her bio, her dad is Australian-Irish and her mom is Afro-Cuban, which makes her black. That parental combination makes Soledad O’Brien a racial mix that includes black. Just like the child of any other racially-mixed marriage.

Except if you’re Jesse Jackson, apparently. According to Jesse, being only partially of black heritage and having lighter skin than many black people means “you don’t count.” I’m trying to imagine the earthquake that would follow if a white person said that to Ms. O’Brien. Even worse, a conservative white person.

In the end, however, I don’t suppose it really matters what Jackson said that upset Ms. O’Brien so greatly. Because after some investigation, I’ve learned that, in spite of her African heritage, Soledad O’Brien is actually a racist!. And it must be true, because the accuser is a liberal white guy who writes on a “Democratic” website not “controlled” by the Democrats.

Yeah. right.

Incidentally, I noticed an interesting factoid about Ms. O’Brien’s parents. In 1958 (a mere 52 years ago), they had to get married in Washington, D.C. because in nearby Maryland, where they legally resided, interracial marriage was against the law. On that alone, I think Ms. O’Brien “counts”, Jesse.

(Updated and corrected 11/12/2010)

Who cares about Olbermann?

The recent dust-up about Keith Olbermann’s unsurprising political contributions, his “suspension” and return to MSNBC had the political blog world in a major tizzy for the past week. I follow a handful of pretty big conservative-based sites on Twitter. From last Thursday through this Tuesday, half the stories I saw posted were about this guy. Yes, exactly, just like this one.

Culturally, we reached the meta media point, where the media topic is the media itself. There is a place for sites like Media Research Center and even Media Matters, because they focus on the content of reported news without actually being a part of CNN, MSNBC or Fox News.

The new media world has now produces programming on their own networks where the primary topic is…themselves. Perhaps they unused air time to fill up. I’d rather see them sell that time to ShamWow pitchmen and get-rich-quick-in-real-estate schemes and actually make some profit. Then I can change the channel without wondering how hard the guests are going to pat themselves on the back during Reliable Sources.

What I fail to understand is why Olbermann even matters. Even Pat Sajak, who’s still in shock over the one-letter-nailed-it girl on Wheel Of Fortune, is jumping on this Olbermann bandwagon. At least Pat’s owning up to his culpability in Olbermann’s actual employment. But in the end, does any of this really matter? I insist it won’t due to one single, unmitigated, uncontroversial fact…read this slowly and carefully folks:

Hardly anyone watches Keith Olbermann’s show. Hardly anyone watches anything on MSNBC.

You can verify this yourself. Just Google “cable news ratings,” and you will receive links to a bunch of pages that track the popularity of the cable news outlets and their individual shows. The late night reruns of O’Reilly, Hannity and Van Susteren get far bigger audiences than Keith does in prime time. I believe Greg Gutfeld’s Red Eye, which appears on Fox News Network at 3:00 AM, has a bigger audience. And while both shows spend a lot of time skewering politicians and the culture, Gutfeld and his guests use humor, which is why people actually stay up to watch it or go out of their way to record it. Can anyone say that Keith Olbermann finds humor in anything anymore?

Personally, I had no issue with Olbermann’s personal, private, using-his-own-money donations to whichever left-wing candidate he chose to support. That’s as much his private business and his right as is my choice to smoke cigars in my backyard, or some other guy’s choice to borrow money from a payday loan shop at confiscatory interest rates or buy his kid a Happy Meal in San Francisco.

But the focus this is getting? Come on, people. Move along now. There’s nothing to see here.

Mo Tucker’s new underground.

Every so often, an event occurs on the political scene that shocks many while causing others to smile. I’m smiling about this one.

In the mid-1960s and into the early 1970s, no band was more misunderstood than the Velvet Underground. Lour Reed, John Cale, Sterling Morrison, Nico and Maureen “Mo” Tucker created music that was challenging, irritating, at times ethereal and beautiful and at other times dangerous and ugly (frequently in the same compositions). The Velvet’s influence on rock music, especially the punk movement that followed them, still resonates today.

I’m certain most of you reading this have a view of rock musicians as mostly political leftists, loudly supporting every whacked-out progressive cause that comes down the pike, and you would be correct. So imagine the shock waves in the music world when this video clip appeared on YouTube some weeks ago. Wait for it…it happens about 2:40 into the clip, right near the end:

That’s none other than Mo Tucker, former drummer for one of history’s most anarchistic bands, speaking about her support for the Tea Party Movement.

What’s interesting is that this news report was broadcast in April 2009, about the time the Tea Party rallies were beginning in earnest around the nation. Tucker, who’s done some very un-radical things like working for Wal-Mart and helping to raise her grandchildren, seems comfortable in this setting, among the ordinary people of her community. She’s apparently as sick of the Obama Administration and its radical shift to the left as those of us on the traditional conservative side and she’s not afraid to express her opinions, her rock-and-roll “street cred” notwithstanding. Consider this: Tucker was pretty much at the front of this movement, not jumping on the bandwagon along the way.

Tucker certainly isn’t the only rock musician who’s spoken out about these issues, but the ones we know about, like the Ted Nugents of the world, generally live a conservative live they’ve led for many years. Tucker’s appearance came out of the blue and has stunned many supporters into ranting at her alleged “traitor” status, as though whatever movement they support is the same thing she’s supposed to support.

Tucker agreed to an interview with a St. Louis alternative newsweekly in which she clears the air on her beliefs in a frank and uncensored way. The best quote in the story comes when she expresses her dismay at people who attack her for her beliefs:

What are your feelings about the online reactions? Many people seem upset or outraged.

I’m stunned that so many people who call themselves liberal yet are completely intolerant. I thought liberals loved everyone: the poor, the immigrant, the gays, the handicapped, the minorities, dogs, cats, all eye colors, all hair colors! Peace, love, bull! Curious they have no tolerance whatsoever for anyone who doesn’t think exactly as they do. You disagree and you’re immediately called a fool, a Nazi, a racist. That’s pretty f’d up!! I would never judge someone based on their political views. Their honesty, integrity, kindness to others, generosity? Yes. Politics? No!

Whatever Tucker believes politically, I’m happy to see that she unafraid to express what she believes without worrying about the consequences of distressing the rest of the music industry or her friends. Tucker’s history with the Velvets and other bands certainly gives her legendary status. But legends, just like the rest of us, sometimes live “ordinary” lives working and taking care of family. That’s all the “street cred” she needs for me.

Mo, lots of us are sticking with you. Now sing it.

Jaguars – Titans on MNF: They are what they are.

I think the biggest disappointment in last night’s nationally-televised 30-3 shellacking of the Jaguars by the Tennessee Titans wasn’t just that Jacksonville lost the game. Look, anyone in their right mind knew that this was a potentially even match-up on paper. NFL games, however, don’t get played on paper, and you’d have to be delusional to think that this year’s Jaguars are as good as this year’s Titans.

Nevertheless, I’m certain the 60,000+ who showed up for the game certainly couldn’t help thinking this would, at the worst, be a competitive football game. Hell, we beat the defending AFC Champion Colts at home two weeks ago. Last week, we dominated a bad Buffalo team on the road, in spite of three turnovers. Why couldn’t the Jaguars be competitive in a crucial divisional game?

Whatever the reasons, they weren’t competitive at all. I could list a litany of excuses for their poor showing, but it pretty much boils down to a couple of simple things: four turnovers, not protecting the quarterback, and getting torched by the opponent’s passing game again. The really unfortunate thing is that this is pretty much the way it’s going to be for the rest of the season (hopefully, without the turnovers), because the Jaguars’ talent woes aren’t going to get fixed this week, next week or even after the season is over. Not immediately, anyway.

The real shame of last night was the disappointment felt by the fans, which I felt myself and saw first-hand at the stadium. The night was picture perfect: great weather, an excited crowd, lots of pregame festivities, and the thrill of being on a national stage on Monday Night Football. Jacksonville has struggled in the last couple of years with ticket sales in a lousy economy, blackouts, apathy from many so-called fans and the perspective that the rest of the country and the sports media don’t respect our sleepy little city with the NFL team on the river. This was a chance, win or lose, to put on a great show for the rest of the football-watching nation.

So when the Jaguars allowed the Titans to drive down field on their first possession (after they deferred to the second half on the coin toss), you could hear the air go out of the building. This from a boisterous crown that just a few moments stood as one and sang the National Anthem with great pride.

Things didn’t get much better after that. Titans quarterback Vince Young was knocked out of the game with a knee injury, so backup Kerry Collins, who must be close to 40 himself, entered the game and proceeded to dink and dunk the Jaguars’ defense to death. His longest pass was 20 yards.

On the other side, it was truly ugly. David Garrard suffered a concussion after a nasty hit with 7:00 to go in the second quarter and was replaced by recently-signed Trent Edwards. This substitution didn’t work out as well; Edwards was picked twice, couldn’t get the offense into the end zone and finished with a QB rating of about 40. This compared to Collins’ 108 rating.

In spite of their pass defense woes, the Jaguars’ defense held up pretty well against running back Chris Johnson, at least until late in the 3rd quarter. At that point, the defense appeared to be pretty gassed and Johnson finished the night with over 100 yards rushing, a couple of nice catches, and a final-drive rushing touchdown.

Kelly and I couldn’t help but feel the disappointment as we left the stadium, not so much for the loss but for the beating they took in front of the country. People in Jacksonville complain that the Jaguars get no respect from the media. Respect is overrated, but you earn it in the NFL by winning. Not getting your brains beat out by the opponent’s backup quarterback on national television.

Since I’m a glass half-full guy, I always hold out hope that things can get better. Garrard will hopefully be back on Sunday against the Kansas City Chiefs, and maybe the “good” quarterback will be there instead of the inconsistent one. Over time, hopefully, the young players on this team will figure things out, especially on defense, and at least give themselves a chance to be competitive. I hope.

But I see the possibility of some changes next year. Everyone who follows this team knows what they are, and some of them are going to take time to blossom. I just hope this town has the patience to stick with them.

Me? I still had a great time last night. This glass will always be half-full for me. Getting to a championship might take a long time for this team, but I don’t care. When it happens, it will be that much sweeter. Go Jaguars.

I won’t debate. I will pout. I’m a liberal.

Nothing warms my heart as much as watching someone from the “other” side (or someone I truly despise, which is frequently the same thing) have a whining, pouting, pooped-in-my-diaper meltdown. The video below is all over the ‘Net, but if you missed it, it’s a great four-plus minutes of television. Now, as a disclaimer, I’m not a big fan of Bill O’Reilly. I agree with some of his political and cultural opinions, and I admire how he’s risen from a local news guy to host one of the most popular opinion shows on American television. I find his approach, however, a bit off-putting and I rarely watch his program. Then again, I rarely watch any of the news opinion shows anyway, even those with hosts I like.

Nevertheless, watch and be amazed:

This video is demonstrative of the liberal method of dealing with the opposition. First of all, I know Bill likes a challenge, but what was he thinking going on this show in the first place? No matter who you are, you can barely get a word in edgewise with this bunch. I kid my daughter when she and all her college roommates get together for a weekend at our place. Six girls all try to talk at the same time…and yet they all know what everyone is saying. What makes the women on The View different is that it’s all shrieking, one trying to out-shout the other…except, of course, the lone conservative, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, who gets drowned out no matter what she says.

So we see and hear O’Reilly make a legitimate point about Islamic terrorists and the issue of the Park51 project. Rather than engage the man in a debate on the merits of his opinion (or their own), the two biggest mouthed (and politically infantile) members of the cast jump up and walk out in some kind of protest against whatever it was that O’Reilly said. They eventually return because, as Behar claims, O’Reilly “apologized” (which I don’t think he did; he simply couched is opinion in different terms). If I saw her and Goldberg walking back to the set, I would have asked them to leave again, since I would have no tolerance for such childish stunts. But, Bill’s a gentleman, so he held his tongue.

The part of the clip that killed me was Walters’ little lecture to the audience after Goldberg and Behar walked off. She was right about one thing: this isn’t the the way we’re supposed to debate or discuss an issue upon which we disagree, and she properly chided her panel members for their actions.

But Barb, who’s responsible for this daily train wreck you call a “panel discussion show”? You’re the executive producer; do something about it. Hire some co-hosts with some intelligence and manners, and maybe the tone of the discourse will turn to constructive and away from the cry-baby antics we see in this clip. Here’s a thought: why don’t you even things up and swap Goldberg and Behar for a couple of conservative or libertarian women to balance the load a little. Not only would it give poor Liz a little more comfort on the set, but you might actually teach your audience that there actually is more than one side to an issue.

You know, I don’t recall Hasselbeck pouting and storming off in a huff last July when Obama made his appearance. During that freaking love fest, even Liz was chuckling at Barry’s jokes. Granted, Bill O’Reilly isn’t Barak Obama, and I doubt Bill can make the masses swoon the way the Prez does (or did, anyway). I suppose I also can’t expect that show to have any balance.

After all, many of the women who are in its alleged target audience are probably doing more important things than sitting around watching a bunch of shrieking has-beens.

Like working.

Does anyone really care about Rick Sanchez?

Rick Sanchez, a former CNN anchor, made some apparently disparaging remarks about John Stewart and Jews in general during a radio interview about 10 days ago. For this, he was summarily sacked by CNN. Sanchez has since expressed regret for his comments, along with a desire to return to CNN. They’re not calling, and neither are any of the other extremely-unpopular cable news outlets. He has also apologized directly to Stewart, who I’m sure is having a good laugh over all this.

The media coverage of this dust-up continues today, with stories and video clips and interviews of this clown all over the freaking web.

Could someone answer one simple question for me?

Who gives a shit about Rick Sanchez?

Here’s what’s happening in the world right now:

I did a little research on Mr. Sanchez’s CNN show in the days before his sacking. Go to this page, which shows ratings and analysis for the cable news outlets for the end of September. Look at the “Scoreboard” entries for the weekdays. Mr. Sanchez’s show is barely a ratings blip on most days. In fact, reruns of Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity on Fox, between 11:00 PM and 1:00 AM, draw three or four times the number of viewers that Mr. Sanchez did during his 8:00 PM prime time slot. Reruns.

No one watched this guy. Nothing at CNN is going to get any better now that he’s gone. Sanchez is probably more famous since he made these remarks than in all the time he was on the air. For Christ’s sake, Elliot Spitzer has a show on CNN now. How bad can it be when you get sacked for some stupid comments, while the same network is hiring a philandering former john who had to resign as the governor of one of the most populated states in America?

By the way, based on the early numbers, no one is watching Spitzer and his pseudo-conservative hostess either. No one give a shit.

Right, Rick?

The definition of delusional.

I wonder if the definition of “delusional” is similar to the definition of “insanity.” In the “delusional” case, it would be hearing the same bad news over and over again, while continuing to hang on to the delusion that things are going to turn out all right.

Such as in the case of Tim Kaine, former governor of Virginia and the current chairman of the Democratic National Committee. I don’t know, Tim, I’m looking at poll after poll that show that your guys are headed for a pretty bad night on November 2. Depending on who you believe, it could be anything from a severe spanking to a downright political bloodbath.

Yet, you remain the eternal optimist:

The former Virginia governor says generic and race-to-race polls since Labor Day “have been moving pretty dramatically in Democrats’ favor.” And he adds that some tension within the party is the result of Democrats doing the “heavy lifting” on policy changes.

Sure. Moving pretty well. Perhaps the margins of defeat have narrowed just a point or two here or there, and I suppose that’s in your candidates’ favor. But I would avoid calling an unwanted health plan, cap-and-trade, higher taxes and all the other legislative boondoggles your guys have pushed as “heavy lifting.”

“Dead weight” is more like it. The kind of dead weight that’s dragging down your campaigns, because it’s the kind of dead weight your side as dumped on an unsuspecting electorate.

But, don’t listen to me! I’m not counting any chickens yet. Stay optimistic! Your going to need the practice when you try spinning it all on November 3.

Back to politics.

Well, I simply can’t sit idly by and allow the juiciest political battles of the modern era pass by without comment. Folks like me who live on the conservative side have been waiting years for a November like the one coming. Forget about the Reagan landslides, or the 1994 “Contract With America” congressional upheaval. Those events were child’s play next to what I expect in a couple of weeks.

I’ll be tossing some stuff out here as I see fit and have time. Please don’t hesitate to visit or comment.

Phoning it in. Either that, or hell actually has frozen over.

The planets aligned on the Fox News website this morning. Usually, the site is pretty pithy with its headlines. But, you simply can’t avoid the “Duh!” reaction you will have when you read these two beauties:

Gov’t Checkup: Health Care Costs Rise Under Obama Overhaul

After you’re done shaking your head and muttering “Really? You think?” to that one, they top it with this smaller one further down the page:

Fidel Castro: Cuba’s Communism Not Working

Holy shit! Has anyone informed Danny Glover, Sean Penn or Hugo Chevez? Or Oliver Stone? Or Harry Belafonte?

Wow. This is even bigger than Snooki getting fined for being “criminally annoying.” Especially since they should have done that to the cast and creators of her “show” five minutes after it went on the air.

You know, like “the great man” should have figured out that communism didn’t work five minutes after he took over.

Everyone in Gainesville will be too drunk to notice.

The only reason…the only reason…that the Reverend Terry Jones’ plan to burn a bunch of Korans (or Qurans, or however you spell it) on Saturday in Gainesville is even a blip on the news radar is because…you ready?…the news media is creating the mountain out of this molehill.

Here’s the thing, folks: there are going to be more people standing around with beers in their hands at a single Gator tailgate over at the Swamp then the Reverend Jones will ever have in his little church again. In fact, I’m guessing that the media will likely outnumber the congregants and supporters who actually attend this event. You know why? Because the Florida Gators football team will be running the University of South Florida Bulls up and down the field on Saturday, and the fourth quarter will be starting right about the time the Koran/Quran bonfire begins.

The media, the military and the Secretary of State don’t have as big a cow when some dickwad in some foreign country torches an American flag, do they? No, because there’s a big difference between Americans and the dickwads in other countries (and you dickwads know who you are). We don’t care what other countries do; if they don’t like us, big effing deal. Our lives go on and we focus on what’s important, what’s right in front of us, and we don’t get our panties in a twist because some radical shit pile of America-haters are pumping their fists in the air and torching American flags and effigies of Bush. (Bush was an infamous effigy model. I haven’t seen any Obama effigies yet).

You see, we can handle protests by people who don’t like us. We get angry, we frequently speak out, we might even say some nasty things about the protesters, but we say what we have to and move on. We do this because, in spite of the current administrations attempts to turn us into (insert name of dumpy destitute country here), we have it pretty good here in the ol’ U.S.A.

I understand the potential danger to American servicemen and women that may follow this “protest,” but I believe that most of those folks know that what they fight for is the right to be able to protest, no matter where you live in the world. Especially in the United States. Lots of American blood has been spilled for that right to be preserved.

Besides, would not burning the books really change the way the insulted or angry feel about us? I recall watching the incredible Inside 9/11 series on National Geographic Channel this weekend. I have seen it a few times before, and I’m always struck by one particular quote from Osama Bin Laden, stated during an interview with a Pakistani reporter after the September 11 attacks. He made it pretty simple:

We love death. The US loves life. That is the difference between us two.

So, based on this philosophy, one which I’m certain is shared by the majority of al-Qaida, I doubt the protests of a tiny, Christian fundamentalist church in Gainesville, Florida is going to amount to much in the big picture of the Global War on Terror. They love death (even though a surprising number of them, like bin Laden, are still alive). Their thirst for the blood of the “infidels” would be un-quenched even if we never said a peep about them.

As for the Secretary of State, well, I always take what Mrs. Rodham says with a grain of salt, since I’m still not convinced she isn’t politicking in some way.

Let’s all remember one important thing. The Reverend Jones’ protest takes place on Saturday, September 11. This will be the ninth anniversary of the attacks on our nation. Nine years ago, some men who don’t like us held they’re own little “protest.” Using a radicalized interpretation of their alleged “peaceful” religion as an excuse, their “protest” against us consisted of stealing four heavily-fueled commercial aircraft, which they proceeded to crash into buildings and a Pennsylvania field, killing themselves and nearly 3000 Americans in the process. Their “protest” against whatever evils they saw in our nation and our culture resulted in the murders of thousands of innocent people of all ages, religions, nationalities and beliefs. Their “protest” changed our lives forever.

I’m guessing that the only casualties of the Reverend Jones’ protest are going to be a few copies of a book that can be purchased anyplace.

Maybe the insulted minions around the world should follow the lead of a few thousand people who will also be in Gainesville that day, watching football and throwing back a few cold ones.

Hello, kettle. You’re black. Love, Pot.

If I hadn’t see the headline on Drudge with my own eyes, I would have thought this was from The Onion:

Fidel to Ahmadinejad: ‘Stop Slandering the Jews’…

The headline links to a butt-kissing Atlantic article by Jeffrey Goldberg in which, after he gets his “glimpse of the great man” (his words, folks), Castro addresses the plight of the world’s Jews.

Briefly, the “great man” addresses Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the President of Iran (probably another “great man” if we give Goldberg enough leeway), chiding him for his anti-Semitic attitudes, especially in regards to Ahmadinejad’s claims that the Holocaust was a hoax.

Anyway, the article is pretty much a laugh riot. Especially the part when Goldberg non-chalantly mentions that “the great man” spoke for five hours…on the first day of the three-day interview.

Humberto Fontova has his brief but pithy say over at BabalĂș. He also points out that “the great man” isn’t necessarily the pro-Israelite he claims to be. Humberto, sorry my headline was kind of like yours.