Everyone in Gainesville will be too drunk to notice.

The only reason…the only reason…that the Reverend Terry Jones’ plan to burn a bunch of Korans (or Qurans, or however you spell it) on Saturday in Gainesville is even a blip on the news radar is because…you ready?…the news media is creating the mountain out of this molehill.

Here’s the thing, folks: there are going to be more people standing around with beers in their hands at a single Gator tailgate over at the Swamp then the Reverend Jones will ever have in his little church again. In fact, I’m guessing that the media will likely outnumber the congregants and supporters who actually attend this event. You know why? Because the Florida Gators football team will be running the University of South Florida Bulls up and down the field on Saturday, and the fourth quarter will be starting right about the time the Koran/Quran bonfire begins.

The media, the military and the Secretary of State don’t have as big a cow when some dickwad in some foreign country torches an American flag, do they? No, because there’s a big difference between Americans and the dickwads in other countries (and you dickwads know who you are). We don’t care what other countries do; if they don’t like us, big effing deal. Our lives go on and we focus on what’s important, what’s right in front of us, and we don’t get our panties in a twist because some radical shit pile of America-haters are pumping their fists in the air and torching American flags and effigies of Bush. (Bush was an infamous effigy model. I haven’t seen any Obama effigies yet).

You see, we can handle protests by people who don’t like us. We get angry, we frequently speak out, we might even say some nasty things about the protesters, but we say what we have to and move on. We do this because, in spite of the current administrations attempts to turn us into (insert name of dumpy destitute country here), we have it pretty good here in the ol’ U.S.A.

I understand the potential danger to American servicemen and women that may follow this “protest,” but I believe that most of those folks know that what they fight for is the right to be able to protest, no matter where you live in the world. Especially in the United States. Lots of American blood has been spilled for that right to be preserved.

Besides, would not burning the books really change the way the insulted or angry feel about us? I recall watching the incredible Inside 9/11 series on National Geographic Channel this weekend. I have seen it a few times before, and I’m always struck by one particular quote from Osama Bin Laden, stated during an interview with a Pakistani reporter after the September 11 attacks. He made it pretty simple:

We love death. The US loves life. That is the difference between us two.

So, based on this philosophy, one which I’m certain is shared by the majority of al-Qaida, I doubt the protests of a tiny, Christian fundamentalist church in Gainesville, Florida is going to amount to much in the big picture of the Global War on Terror. They love death (even though a surprising number of them, like bin Laden, are still alive). Their thirst for the blood of the “infidels” would be un-quenched even if we never said a peep about them.

As for the Secretary of State, well, I always take what Mrs. Rodham says with a grain of salt, since I’m still not convinced she isn’t politicking in some way.

Let’s all remember one important thing. The Reverend Jones’ protest takes place on Saturday, September 11. This will be the ninth anniversary of the attacks on our nation. Nine years ago, some men who don’t like us held they’re own little “protest.” Using a radicalized interpretation of their alleged “peaceful” religion as an excuse, their “protest” against us consisted of stealing four heavily-fueled commercial aircraft, which they proceeded to crash into buildings and a Pennsylvania field, killing themselves and nearly 3000 Americans in the process. Their “protest” against whatever evils they saw in our nation and our culture resulted in the murders of thousands of innocent people of all ages, religions, nationalities and beliefs. Their “protest” changed our lives forever.

I’m guessing that the only casualties of the Reverend Jones’ protest are going to be a few copies of a book that can be purchased anyplace.

Maybe the insulted minions around the world should follow the lead of a few thousand people who will also be in Gainesville that day, watching football and throwing back a few cold ones.